Sometimes it’s difficult to find balance between total serenity (on one hand) and kicking everyone’s ass (on the other).
Not that we all aspire to hurt each other, of course. But let’s face it, there are times when our Buddhist mindset escapes us for a moment or two (or an hour), and we’re ready to strangle something. Even if it’s only a proverbial strangling, as opposed to a literal one, I think there are times when an angry reaction is only natural – only human.
Thich Nhat Hahn teaches us to smile at our anger, meaning to acknowledge it, nurture it is we would a child, and then let it go, let it turn into something else. But this takes a bit of practice. Until we learn to properly smile at our anger, our anger sometimes gets the better of us.
Last night, I spent about two hours in traffic, getting home from work. I missed yet another aikido class (I’ll never progress at this rate), and although I left the office shortly before 5, I didn’t get home until after 7:30. I was fuming. Now, here’s the problem: at whom was I fuming? I mean, was there some specific target of my anger?
If I’d been mad because the dry cleaner ruined a shirt or something (they did not), or if some idiot had cut me off in traffic (no one did), or maybe my boss had made me stay late, so as to make me late getting home (didn’t happen), then I would have someone to be mad at, wouldn’t I? But no, as it stands, I was just mad. At no one. So whose ass do I proverbially kick?
That is, unless you count the whole cruel universe. That’s right, I was mad at the universe for making me miss my class. Again. I end up spending a lot of time angry at the universe. Do you?
Is this something you’ve been struggling with? I mean, I’m not so much struggling with it as noticing it and beginning to work with it. But it is a silly thing to have to worry about, isn’t it?
So, it's serenity vs. everything else. Serenity vs. reality. Just because you're a Buddhist doesn't mean you're expected to never become angry again, does it? Of course not. But there are ways to deal with it.
Tell me what you think. What makes you mad at the universe? What sets you off, when there’s no particular person to get mad at? Is anger, in and of itself, wrong? And what does the Buddha's teaching say about all of this?
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